Chapter Three
Oh how time marches on…and as long as there is something in
the nearer than further future that you are looking forward to, hooray! My husband is mighty close to
achieving fully healed status from his vasectomy reversal surgery, which means
that Kokopelli is soon to have an open playground for fertility in our house! Meanwhile,
loose financial ends are moving toward closure and loose emotional ends are
beginning to heal. The former is a matter of rather dull practicality, but let
me explain the latter.
Three of our children are gone. Stephen’s boys don’t come
home anymore. They are with their mother full-time. It happened like this. Ever
since their divorce, the boys’ mother has demonized Stephen, and then of course
us as a couple. As a result, the boys have been uncomfortable trying to
reconcile their loyalty to their mother and their place in the positive and
communicative culture of our family. After five years of a growing tension, the
boys and their mother are completely boycotting us. They refuse any contact. It
has been devastating to have our family suddenly go from six to three. It has
been deeply painful for Stephen to feel he has lost his children. He knows that
the court system would support his rights to see them, but he also knows that
it would not change the dynamic of parental alienation that his ex-wife has
achieved with their children. The details of this heartbreak are complex and
disturbing. I believe that when the boys are old enough, maybe beyond the fragility
of adolescence, they will re-establish a relationship with their wonderful
father. I believe that love will eventually prevail over the anger, resentment,
and vengeful manipulation that led to this. Meanwhile, we’ve fought then
researched then sought counseling then grieved and we are still healing. We are
strong. We have each other and sweet Eva. We still want to conceive a child
between us.
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